In this poignant episode of The Mindful Haven, presented by Impireum Psychiatric Group, host Layla and therapist Shanti Hubbard welcome Nicole Beverly, a clinical social worker, survivor, and fierce advocate against domestic violence. Nicole shares her deeply personal story of enduring years of psychological manipulation, stalking, and physical abuse. Through her honest account, listeners gain insight into the invisible tactics abusers use to control their victims and the psychological toll it takes. The conversation sheds light on safety planning, legal challenges, and the importance of trauma-informed care. Nicole’s journey from survival to advocacy culminates in her film Finding Nicole, a story that aims to educate, empower, and support others navigating the same harrowing path. Whether you’re a survivor, a supporter, or someone seeking understanding, this episode offers a raw and inspiring message of healing, resilience, and the power of speaking out.
Nicole’s story unpacks a sobering reality: domestic violence isn’t always visible. Abusers often begin with covert emotional manipulation—gaslighting, degrading humor, isolating behaviors long before physical violence ever surfaces. “It started with jokes that chipped away at my self-worth,” Nicole shares, painting a chilling picture of how easily red flags can be mistaken for personality quirks or misplaced affection. Shanti reinforces this point, explaining how abusers create psychological dependency, making it harder for victims to recognize the abuse and seek help.
Nicole’s journey breaks the stereotype of who “ends up” in an abusive relationship. “I was educated, confident, and had a voice,” she says. “I never thought I’d be a victim.” Her vulnerability drives home the fact that domestic violence can touch anyone—regardless of education, profession, or strength of character.
The episode explores the harsh reality behind the question, “Why didn’t you just leave?” Nicole’s escape wasn’t a single act—it was a series of calculated steps to preserve her life and her children’s safety. She shares how she gathered evidence, identified exit points, and developed a safety plan—each step laden with risk.
Layla emphasizes, “Leaving isn’t just an action—it’s a process.” Shanti adds a grim reminder: leaving is statistically the most dangerous time for victims. “You’re 75% more likely to be killed during or shortly after leaving,” she says, underscoring how critical support and understanding are during this phase.
Surviving is one thing, healing is another. Nicole opens up about her recovery, which included therapy with professionals who truly understood trauma. She encourages survivors to find therapists trained in domestic violence and trauma care, warning that not all are equipped for such delicate work.
She also shares practical coping strategies like her “put it on the shelf” technique—temporarily setting aside overwhelming thoughts to focus on the present. Her advice on self-love, rediscovering identity, and resisting pressure to “move on” or date again too soon is compassionate and grounded in experience.
For Nicole, healing wasn’t a solitary journey. She found strength through community—retreats, survivor groups, and online spaces where she felt seen and validated. “Sometimes, the first time a survivor feels heard is in a room full of others who’ve walked the same road,” she says. These communities create a safe container for shared healing and empowerment.
A powerful part of Nicole’s work now centers on prevention. She visits schools to talk with teens about relationship red flags—love bombing, isolation, manipulation—and introduces green flags of healthy love, like mutual respect and emotional safety.
The statistics are staggering: one in three high schoolers experience dating violence, yet few are taught what healthy boundaries look like. Nicole’s mission is to shift that narrative early and prevent future cycles of abuse.
Nicole’s journey also extends into advocacy. From courtroom battles to legislative efforts, she’s dedicated to reforming systems that often fail victims. Her insights help push for policies that prioritize safety, streamline protective orders, and support trauma-informed training for law enforcement and legal personnel.
Nicole’s story is now a film—Finding Nicole—crafted to inspire, educate, and empower. The movie, alongside her upcoming book, offers practical tools for survivors, supporters, and even professionals working in mental health and legal advocacy. It also serves as a call to action for communities to break the silence and foster spaces of safety and healing.
This episode isn’t just a podcast—it’s a lifeline. It affirms that domestic violence thrives in secrecy, but stories like Nicole’s crack that silence wide open. If you’re a survivor, or know someone who is, remember this: you’re not alone. There are people, resources, and communities ready to help you reclaim your voice, your safety, and your life.
